40-SCHOOLING IN SKIRTS

She sniffled quietly. "No ... it's O.K. ...'

I wanted to reach through the phone and give her a reassuring hug. "I'm not sure if J.J. and I are going out again. I think he was a little afraid of me." She didn't answer for a few seconds, and I wished I could hold her and let her know everything was all right. But which one of me wanted to do that? I was attracted to her as Danny ... at least I thought so but we were best girlfriends and she certainly didn't think of Danni as a potential boyfriend ...

000

I guess my silence was more noticeable than hers, because I gradually became aware that Chris was speaking my name over and over, questioning whether maybe I'd hung up or dropped dead or something like that. "Danni ... I'm not mad at you, really.'

I recovered from the confusing maze of thought I'd been lost in. “Good ... I'm glad. I don't want to lose you as a friend."

"Me neither. You're the closest one I've got. It's like you and I really get along better than any other friend I've ever had!"

Deep inside, I realized that it was unfair to keep the truth hidden from this very special girl. She had become the first real friend I'd had since before high school. "Chris, do you trust me?" I asked suddenly.

"Sure, of course I do. Why?"

"Because there's something I really feel I have to tell

you."

"O.K., what is it?"

I knew I couldn't just blurt out my secret over the phone. It had to be in person ... even if that meant seeing a hurt expression on her face afterwards. "Not on the phone. Can we get together at the mall early, before Susan shows up?"

"Why? Does whatever you want to tell me concern her? I bet she's pregnant!"

"No, no, nothing like that. This is just between you and me."

CONTEMPORARY TV FICTION -41

"All right. I'll meet you at the pizza booth at 9:30 tomorrow morning.'

I thanked her and hung up. Tomorrow, I was determined to let Chris know the truth about me and how I felt about her. I couldn't sleep at all that night as I ran through all the ways I might tell her. Ultimately, I rehearsed it in my mind so many times, I fell asleep exhausted from the mental activity.

CHAPTER EIGHT

I took a little extra time getting ready to meet Chris. Somehow, I felt that the truth would come easier for her if Danni was at her feminine best. Finally, after spending almost a half-hour checking and rechecking my hair and makeup, I realized that I was going to miss the crosstown bus and hurried back to my room. I tossed my cosmetic bag into my purse, grabbed it and bounced out the door wearing my best white pullover sweater, faded blue denim miniskirt, pantyhose, and a pair of low-heeled white pumps I'd bought just the week before.

Chris was waiting at the stop outside the mall when I stepped off the bus. "So, what was so important that you couldn't tell me on the phone last night?" she demanded.

I looked at her. She was wearing a black and white striped minidress with low heeled black pumps. Her soft, strawberry blonde hair flowed just past her shoulders, and she was wearing just enough makeup to set off her eyes and mouth. There was no doubt in my mind. I was in love with this girl.

"Well, Danni, what's so important?" she repeated.

I started walking toward the mall. None of my rehearsed speeches seemed right now. How could I find the words to tell her that her best girlfriend was really a feminized boy? Would she be able to accept the fact that underneath the miniskirt and makeup, there was a normal, healthy male who cared about her very much? Was I even